Last night İ watched some silly teeny movie, in which the main character kept on saying that after college the real life begins. Not that İ like this type of movies or God forbid believe them, İ am mentioning it solely because İ have always held this belief as well: after İ finish college, my 'real life' will begin... İ was so scared, worried, even horrified. What would İ do? How would İ manage? What is the right thing to do? Everyone around me was getting jobs with investment banks and simmilar establishments in New York (or Boston - even though that didn't sound as cool), everyone seemed to know where they were going and what they were doing. And they were all doing the 'right' thing. İ, on the other hand, had not much interest in becoming rich and working endless hours for something İ didn't believe in. İ mean seriously how can a tiny improvement in the profits of some huge company become the purpose of your life...but the pressure to do the 'right' thing... And what was İ going to do if not this???
And this is how İ came to Turkey. İ was always in love with this region, the culture, the language, the people (even though that love has diminished somewhat - generally speaking). İ was fascinated by the restlessness, differences, way of life here. Every time İ was able to study any of these things or read about them, İ would always get this feeling of warm excitement in my belly. And shouldn't İ spend my time somewhere and on something that gives me that feeling? İsn't that feeling more important than doing the 'right' thing, the generally expected thing? İ came to believe that it is. Therefore, İ was able, for the first time, to not do what is expected of me, to not do the 'right' thing. İ left the country where İ spent my short adult life and came to live in Turkey.
İ am still not sure where will my jurney lead me or where exactly do İ want it to lead me. The important thing is that İ am doing what İ want to do and İ am not so scared of the 'real' life anymore because it is as much fun as college was. İt is as full of learning and new experiences as college was. And İ am sure that when the time is right İ will end up where İ should and will be able to turn around with satisfaction.
