PurePoison

On how important friends are...

2008-03-03T15:50:00.000-08:00

Thought this article was quite interesting... love the way the author can write in such an amusing way about such a sad topic...
Being from a divided country (Yes, the Czech Republic and Slovakia are both all independent now!! What a big impact that had on my life... [very very sarcastic tone just cause a great number of people I meet cannot wrap their heads around the complete lack of fighting we did against each other]) Having one's own piece of land (or not giving a piece up for someone else) is a big issue but I still find it sad that people need to kill each other over these things while it's apparently all about "...a lot of patience and the right friends"

How to Start Your Own Country in Four Easy Steps

By Joshua Keating

With Kosovo unilaterally declaring independence and a host of wannabe states looking to follow its lead, you might be thinking it’s about time to set up your own country. You’ve picked out a flag, written a national anthem, even printed up money with your face on it. But what’s the next step? Creating a new country isn’t as easy as you think.

Step 1: Make sure you are eligible
As tempting as it might be to declare your cubicle a sovereign state, customary international law actually does specify minimum standards for statehood.
You must have a defined territory.
You must have a permanent population.
You must have a government.
Your government must be capable of interacting with other states. (This one is somewhat controversial. It was included as a qualification in the 1933 Montevideo Convention, which established the United States’ “good neighbor” policy of nonintervention in Latin America, but is generally not recognized as international law.)

Step 2: Declare independence
Congratulations on joining the ranks of Transnistria, Somaliland, and a host of other countries that won’t be marching at the Olympics anytime soon. Just because you’ve met the qualifications and declared yourself independent doesn’t mean that you’re going to be taken seriously. Even the Principality of Sealand—located on a 10,000-square-foot platform in the North Sea—has tried with mixed success to claim sovereignty under these qualifications.
However, now that your state is established, there are certain benefits you can expect, even if you’re not recognized by anyone. “Once an entity has established itself as a de facto state, it will benefit from territorial integrity and certain guarantees of sovereignty,” says Stefan Talmon, professor of public international law at Oxford University and author of Recognition in International Law. “For instance, now that Kosovo is established as a state, Serbia can no longer freely attack it to bring it back into Serbia. It benefits from the prohibition of the use of force under the U.N. Charter.” These rules were established during the Cold War to protect new states that were not yet recognized by one bloc or another.

Step 3: Get recognized
There’s not much point in having your own country unless other countries acknowledge your existence. International recognition is what gives a country legitimacy in the international community and what ultimately distinguishes the New Zealands of the world from the Nagorno-Karabakhs. Naturally, though, the established countries are going to take some convincing. “Recognition is quite complicated because it combines international law and international politics,” Talmon says. “Some people say that recognition is a purely political act. It is at the discretion of existing states whether they recognize, so there is no right to recognition.”
This was especially true during the Cold War, when the national legitimacy of North and South Vietnam, North and South Korea, and East and West Germany depended on which side you asked. Even today, a number of entities are recognized as states by some countries, but not by others. Palestine, Taiwan, and Northern Cyprus fall into this category.
The United States has no official policy on what is required for recognition, according to its State Department. Instead, the decision to recognize a state is made by the president. Then the president decides whether to establish diplomatic relations with the state based on U.S. national interests. There’s no cookie-cutter approach, so when you ask for recognition, be sure to explain how your independence will be good for America. In the old days, proving your anti-communist cred was usually good enough. Today, U.S. strategic priorities are a bit more complex, though as Kosovo proves, ticking off the Russians still helps.

Step 4: Join the club
Since its founding in 1945, membership in the United Nations has become the gold standard of international legitimacy. “When you are admitted to the U.N, that’s a form of approval,” Talmon says. “It’s like a stamp [that says] you are now a full member of the international community.”
Applying for U.N. membership is a breeze. According to U.N. rules, all you need to do is write a letter to the secretary-general requesting membership. These letters are remarkably short and simple. For a handy template, check out the successful application of Montenegro, the United Nations’ most recent member.
You can mail your application to:

Ban Ki-moonSecretary-General
The United Nations
First Ave. at 46th St.
New York, NY 10017

Now comes the hard part. The Security Council must refer you to the General Assembly, which must determine by a two-thirds majority that you are a “peace-loving state” that can carry out the duties of the U.N. Charter.
It’s probably not even worth trying this unless you’ve completed step 3. A number of unrecognized states have applied for U.N. recognition over the years, including American-Indian tribes, but without the credibility bestowed by bilateral recognition, these applications are usually just filed away.
The biggest obstacle to U.N. membership is power politics. Neither North nor South Korea got U.N. membership until 1991 because of vetoes by one bloc or another during the Cold War. Even today, Russia’s veto on the Security Council will probably prevent Kosovo from gaining a seat at the table anytime soon. The Republic of China, a.k.a. Taiwan, was one of the founding members of the United Nations and once had a “permanent” seat on the Security Council. But Taiwan was booted out in favor of the People’s Republic of China in 1971, after U.S. President Richard Nixon decided to cozy up to Beijing. The Taiwanese government has applied for membership every year since 1993, but to no avail. The United Nations didn’t even bother to open Taiwan’s most recent letter.

As you can see, the point at which a territory officially becomes a country is very much in the eyes of the beholder. International recognition can be an elusive prize. The good news? The longer you wait, the better your chances become. In international law, which is often based on custom, the longer you can maintain your de facto sovereignty, the more likely you are to be accepted. (Unless, of course, you’re Taiwan.)
The strength of Kosovo’s bid for independence from Serbia is based largely on the fact that it has, for all intents and purposes, been independent for almost a decade. In a more extreme example, the 900-year-old Sovereign Order of Malta has diplomatic relations with 100 countries and observer status at the United Nations even though its entire territory is contained in a few buildings in Rome. So don’t be discouraged. Starting your own country isn’t impossible. It’s just going to require a lot of patience and the right friends.

(From Foreign Policy, February 2008)

2008-01-02T04:45:00.000-08:00

Here is a poem for you, just so that your homepage wldn't keep on being the same and as a little reminder of that one day in Prague....

I HAD TWO BEERS AT THE “LITTLE GREEN TREE”...
at once feeling better, all seems quite real to me
the mirage of the Castle is particularly tenable today
across the Charles Bridge, only the stars know where to, I stumble on my way.

I closed my eyes counting to ten
all, even the semblance of the Little Quarter roofs, fizzled out by then
and the bridge shrank into a single thread in a magnified net
chasm all around, banks nowhere to be met
J. Krchovsky

PS: Not exactly what I wanted but it's nearly impossible to find Czech poetry translated into English online

THE CORPORATION

2007-08-08T06:50:00.000-07:00

Full length movie about the power and impact of corporations. Though everyone pretty much knows these facts, it's important to see a powerful summary like this.

"The Corporation"

makes me remember why I wanna do development work...

Iran

2007-06-10T11:56:00.000-07:00

Recently I visited Iran. It was an amazing trip. I guess I was most suprised about how 'European' the country felt (I realize it's a completely insensitive statement but I am European, so I'm allowed). It was clean, comfortable, green, relatively organized (and where it wasn't everyone behaved in a synchronized disorganized way.) The beauty of the Iranian nature is breathtaking as well.

I posted my pix on the following web pages, they speak for all the words I can possibly write...

IRAN, part 1
IRAN, part 2
IRAN, part 3
IRAN, part 3

I later received a joke about Iran, I thought it was especially funny cause it came from an Iranian friend of mine :)

GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN
- Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
- Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe , well developed and open to trade, especially for s om eone with cash
- Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India , very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
- Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France , gently aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
- Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain , With a glorious and all conquering past.
- Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia , lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.
- Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia , very wide with borders now unpatrolled
- After 70, she becomes Tibet . Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.
GEOGRAPHY OF MEN
- Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran . Ruled by a Dick.

my first publication, continued...

2007-04-03T06:04:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone :)

Although I am capable of writing a journal article I am somehow not capable of downloading it on my blog, I'm not even sure if it's possible. THIS is the best I can do...

my first publication :)

2007-03-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

My fist publication in a journal just came out. Although it's likely not interesting to anyone who isn't dying to find out about the geopolitical importance of Turkey, I decided I need to brag about it a little since it's my first one...

Anyway it's called

TURKEY’S GEOPOLITICAL ROLE:

THE ENERGY ANGLE

and was published in MIDDLE EAST POLICY, VOL. XIV, NO. 1, SRING 2007 by Middle East Policy Council

Kappadokya

2007-03-25T16:03:00.000-07:00

Recently took a weekend trip to Cappadocia, which is only a couple hours away from Ankara. I can't believe I haven't been there yet, it's quite amazing... It's a huge area of really interesting nature with lovely little Turkish towns scattered among these strange volcanic rock formations.

All this formed thanks to the snow-covered volcano in the background, Erciyes Dagi

Kappadokiya, like many places in this area, has an enormous history. It has been inhabited for thousands of years. There were the Hatti, the Hittites (around 2000BC), the Persians, it was fought for by Alexander the Great, it was a Roman province, it was ruled by the Selcuk Turks, Mongols and the Ottomans.

Many of the strange rocks have been inhibited for thousands of years and still are today. The little towns generally have a huge rock in the center, it is full of tunels and is called castle. In some way it would have been easier to just build a castle...

Unfortunatelly the rocks are apparently cancerous and the ratio of people with cancer in this area is much higher than elsewhere in Turkey. Despite this, many people continue living in their traditional way inside of these rocks.

Cappadocia was always a rather out of the way place, no great empires were ever particularly interested in more than trading routes going through the area. This neglect, combined with the influence of an important east-west trading route, meant that number of faiths, creeds and philosophies were allowed to flourish here. One of these was Christianity. It was introduced here in the first century. In order to protect themselves from Arab invasions, the Christians carved out into these rocks dwelling places for whole communities. These included houses, churches, monasteries.. I am standing in one such church on the left.

Kappadokiya means "land of well-bred horses" in Hittite. I haven't really seen many horses (except for the ones for the turists standing right next to the very out of place camels). What is more interesting about the Hittites however is that in their time Cappadocia became a wine producing region (says the Rough Guide to Turkey) and remained so until today. The wine and the local food were great...

I never really drive in Turkey because I am not so good at it in general and in Turkey driving is especially scary. I have been driving more lately but this trip definitely made a difference and I am actually capable of driving in Turkish cities now :))

Light a candle...

2006-12-12T06:56:00.000-08:00

Today, Bristol-Myers Squibb, the pharmaceutical monolith that charges nearly $1000 for a 30 day supply of one of its HIV/AIDS medications, is donating $1 to the National AIDS Fund for each person who simply visits their website and "virtually lights a candle."the tally is over 850,000 right now. Please take a minute to "light a candle": all you have to do is click on the link below or copy and paste this link to your browser.

http://www.lighttounite.org

So take a second to help a little...

on morality

2006-11-13T10:15:00.000-08:00

"It is not enough either to devise a morality that will allow the human race simply to survive. Survival is an evil when it entails existing in a state of wretchedness. Intrinsic to survival and continuation is felicity/pleasure. Pleasure has been much maligned, diminished by philosophers and conquerors as a value for the timid, the small-minded and the self-indulgent. "Virtue" too often involves the renunciation of pleasure in the name of some higher purpose, a purpose that involves power (for men) or sacrifice (for women). Pleasure is described as shallow and frivolous in a world of high-minded, serious purpose. But pleasure does not exclude serious pursuits or intentions, indeed, it is found in them, and it is the only real reason for staying alive."

French, Marilyn (1985). Beyond Power

Where does power actually lie...

2006-11-09T06:24:00.000-08:00

According to Foucault, Berlant and others we are all overpowered by a discourse, by a system of meanings, which we exchange, perpetuate and share. When I say a word, make a sign or send any other kind of another signal, everyone who shares my system of meanings (or values) will understand what I mean and such sign will evoke the same kinds of associations this sign evokes in me and therefore this other person will perpetuate the discourse we are both part of. Even people who don't agree with the sign or word I pass on understand it and even by protesting it, they are still a part of the discourse I am part of. Although terrorists might protest America and its values, they are part of the same discourse. Although I might not agree with the way women are treated by the society, I am still part of the same discourse as the society.
According to the shared system of meanings, according to this discourse we are all part of, we create our own identities. I as well as my society understands what it means when I say that I am a woman, that I am a student, a doughter. This is an identity I created according to the discourse I am embedded in and all others who are part of this discourse understand what I mean and associate simmilar kinds of things as I do with my identity. It is common then to ask me what I study, whether I have a boyfriend, if I am married, to expact me to get married and have children etc.
Being a part of a discourse means being a part of a huge inescapable power machinery that is completely imagined and in which noone is the holder of the power. It's something like the world in the Matrix excapt without the machines.

Few contemporary Turkish poems I enjoyed...

2006-07-13T07:59:00.000-07:00

Fazil Husnu Daglarca

To love

To double the world

TAKEN BUT NOT GIVEN

Hills and rocks

left you to me

I shall not have anyone have you

Not even God

IT COMES AND GOES

It comes and goes

Till nights turn into down

My sleeplessness

To your beauty

INSIDE AND OUT

Why are we separated

By houses

And come together

In streets

Melih Cevdet Anday

ONE MOMENT

The road is lovely

As if there is no death

Necati Cumali

A FEAR AMONG FEARS

For three days I looked forward to Sunday

Till Sunday you had said

Believe me for three days

I longed for nothing but Sunday

Could neither sleep nor work well

Till Sunday I said and waited

Sunday morning

A fear among fears

Played havoc with my joy

What if you are not the one I love

What if you are not the one I crave

Reality in photography

2006-06-26T15:23:00.000-07:00

A couple years ago I went to photo exhibition in London by Sebastiago Salgado. His photographs were from various parts of developing world, full of misery and suffering.

Although this kind of photography is chilling and in no way pleasant, I very much enjoy such photographs; they bring the world closer, they make me feel the world to some extent.

I have visited quite a number of photography exhibitions with a simmilar theme, however, this particular one really stuck with me, I am not sure if it was because of a mood I was in at the moment but these photographs seemed to breath the desperate feelings of the people and places portrayed right at the viewer...

The exhibition was so sad and it seemed, as it seems in all of these exhibitions, that there is no happiness, not even a momentary smile in the lives of these people..

2006-06-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

Then recently I went to a photography exhibition "The Distant Near" here in Ankara.

It consisted mainly of photographs from Subsaharan Africa, but, although full of reality, this exhibition was full of color and even happiness and beauty...

Not that there is much comparison between the people or places portrayed except for the fact that they all come from one region in the world, but I just enjoyed the fact that this last exhibition showed the reality of the ordinary people of these regions quite differently. Although it is neccessary to see both sides of their reality, it is nice to see them for once as people, not just as a mass of unimaginable suffering...

2006-06-23T12:41:00.000-07:00

Different view of Istanbul

2006-06-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

Not to offend anyone, but I just got this joke from a friend and thought others should be able to laugh at it as well..
I figured that more open minded guys would enjoy it too....

:))

Spring Break in Turkey

2006-05-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

Turkey is great, cause the South gets warm enough pretty early in the year, so that a March spring break can be a good time for a summer vacation. This spring break I did some travelling and some hanging out on the beach...

First, we spent time in and around Alanya, enjoying the city and the beach...

Then we went to Pamukkale for a few days, which was unfortunatelly not as interesting as I expected,

I definitely enjoyed the ancient history the place has to offer more than the natural beauty of it.

Then we spent a day in Antalya hanging out on the beach

Then we spent time near Antalya, the mountains and the sea around there are beautiful...

watched the eclipse

Lesson in real life politics

2006-05-05T03:12:00.000-07:00

Being a IR student in Turkey with a concetration on the European Union, I went to one of our voluntary (but if you don't come we'll cut your paycheck) seminars today conducted by visiting members of EU-Turkey parliamentary committee. In many ways that sounds like a pretty boring thing to do on a sunny Friday but I figured that it might be interesting to listen to and be able to ask questions the people who have so much power over the European continent and therefore my life in many ways. I keep on learning about the procedures in the EU but this was a chance to actually experience them in some way.

After some rhetorical introductory remarks, the question period started. It seemed meaningful until about two minutes into the discussion when any question asked was usually completely turned around and answered by some kind of a rhetoric that the particular politician had on his agenda. This course of proceedings was cheerfully supported by many students who tried to push their frustrations about Cyprus and the Turkish position on the Cypriot representatives, who with straight faces continued to go on within their rhetoric mostly ignoring what was actually asked. To be fair to the Cypriots though, they weren't an exception; this was the way all the committee members "answered" the questions.

The whole thing got even more embarrassing (yes, I was just one person involuntarily sitting in the audience, nevertheless even I was embarrassed) when the committee members started attacking each other with their differing agendas and rhetorics and tried to take as much time as they could to speak, insult one another etc., some even spoke at the same time, all trying to be lauder than the others. Eventually, attacking even the chair of our department.

The whole thing was simply embarrassing. However, I wouldn't say it was useless. If this is what it means to be in politics then I absolutely have to stay as far away from anything resembling politics as possible.

While this all was going on, one of their main points (it seemed) was that the Europeans and the Turks have to understand each other in order to get along. Such an assertion seemed rather ironic seeing that even these few guys, who should be the first in such efforts, cannot understand each other, or even have enough courtesy to try. Seeing all this a sad realization came to my mind: if even people who represent us and were in some way (the democratic deficit is still there) chosen by us to pursue this issue and bring it to a successful end, teaching both sides about the benefits of a Turkish membership and a happy and peaceful coexistence, cannot get along, how would it be possible that anyone ever gets along? How will whole countries in the EU or in the world ever be able to peacefully get along coexist?

A Great Bodrum Vacation

2006-04-12T15:38:00.000-07:00

This is sooo late, I know but I just came again across Nikki's blog and realized that I made the mistake of not having anything about this vacation on my blog, which I definitely need to correct no matter when. And besides it gives a great summer/vacation feeling!
Since Nikki wrote it so wonderfully I thoguht it would be best to just post a link to it...

Turkey, A Diamond in the Rough: The Best Summer Vacation of My Life

And add some pictures...

A spring view of Istanbul

2006-04-12T13:17:00.000-07:00

Yet another blog about Istanbul - I guess I keep myself sane in this country with these thoughts...

Some weeks ago I was sitting on the bus, annoyed by all the possible Turkish habits that are so aggravating, encountered especially when traveling with one of those cheap bus companies. I was pissed, the bus, already running about an hour delay, wasn't about to move because the staff was looking for extra passengers. On top of that I was about to be taken to one of my currently least favorite places. The cold place, where I managed to completely forget why it is that I have ever liked and been fascinated by this country. I wasn't happy at all...

But then I looked outside, it was sunny, about 15 degrees, one could already feel signs of spring in the air. Across the dirty, crowded bus station, I could see the Bosphorus and the other shore, the view was amazing. Actually every view in Istanbul is fascinating. There are those obvious ones, the Bosphorus, Topkapi across the Golden Horn, Galata tower at night etc. etc. But then there are also those views of scenes in the city in front of one's eyes at every moment and yet so fascinating. I often find myself watching the chaos of the city, the houses built with no sense of planning or order, the people among them, the colorful crowds, the chaotic traffic in the tiny streets that have been here for hundreds and more years, the covered women carrying around their babies, the men sitting, drinking tea, the bakkals on the street corners, the street sellers' of everything possible shouts into the crowds, the peaceful silence when fishing in the middle of the Bosphorus, the solitude and greatness of the ancient mosques, the secrets hidden in little streets deep inside of Istanbul's old districts... I think about all these things and I begin to feel much better. There is something mystical, clear, ordinary and yet so special, indescribable about this place. I could walk this city for years and I would always feel the magic of it around me, always discover something new.

I realize again, after quite a long time, that I love the way I feel here, I love discovering all the strange, unknown and amazing. I love this city, country and I can learn so much from it. I love living here, learning about its present and its past.

I so wish I wouldn’t forget about this passion when in my current place of residence in Turkey, which, often full of the worst Turkish habits, seems to try to deny that fact that it is in fact in Turkey, a place that tries so hard (and with the worst success) to appear prestigious and American. How am I to learn what I came here to learn and love the learning when most of what's amazing and fascinating about Turkey stays forcefully shut outside of this place's door...

The Meatrix - take the red pill....

2006-02-22T14:47:00.000-08:00

The Meatrix is all around you. It is the story about where our meat products really come from.

Earlier I posted a link to a story about animal products we consume, which is summed up pretty well by this short movie. I am not trying to excessively promote being vegetarian but I think it's good if everyone is aware of the facts...

Watch the MEATRIX
NOW

My month at home and around there

2006-02-21T07:06:00.000-08:00

January was a semester break for Bilkent, so I travelled first to Istanbul, then home and then a bit around there. It was actually quite a busy break but I managed to do quite a few things...

In Istanbul

I was saying a good-bye (which turned out not to be so final) to Nikki and hang out with many other ppl I haven't managed to see for quite a while.

Then I boarded my plane to Prague, first celebrated new year's with some old friends there and then it was just the right time for Christmas, which my family decided to postpone so I could make it.

Shortly after X-mas, Andreas came and we went skiing/snowboarding together in the Czech Republic for a few days, as usually, I don't have any pictures, but he was great and managed to learn really fast.

Then I had a few days time to see friends, visit doctors, do shopping, until I went skiing again, this time with my family to Tatras mountains in Slovakia.

This is my brother and I on the slope. I definitely dont look particularly in but it was really cold so I had to wear my mom's coat the whole time.

A few days later I was on my way to Germany, spent a great week there with Andreas and saw few other good friends I havent seen for a while.

Then there was one more weekend of skiing, snowboarding and a lot of partying in the Austrian Alps with some extended family and some friends and right afterwards I was again on my way back to Ankara...

An obsertvation form Prague

2006-02-02T05:27:00.000-08:00

Recently I went to Prague. Although I havent spent as much time there as I would have wanted to, during the few days I was able to walk around the city, I realized what I am missing in Ankara. I miss culture. One of the aspects why the atmosphere in Ankara is not one of a cultured European city, like it is in Prague and other European capitals, is that culture and cultural events are generally missing in Ankara. I realize that most of the city of Ankara is not historical therefore the atmosphere that surrounds one cannot be the same as it is in other places. However, in Ankara there is also a relative lack of posters, billboards, invitations to a range of cultural events of all kinds that fill all possible spaces on buldings, in subways, on tram and bus stops.... I love reading those when walking around Prague. For some months there was even a series in the Prague subways, which displayed poetry to the passengers!

I have wondered about this in front of few Turks and their response is that
"the Turks are not cultured people"
...quite a sad conclusion given Turkey's past full of rich history and culture...

Living on Çubuk Kraker in the Bilkent Social Sciences Building: A Constructivist Approach

2005-12-25T22:39:00.000-08:00

Çubuk Kraker,
originally uploaded by ivuskawalterova.

So Ale told me this was unlikely to be funny to anyone who hasn't suffered our pain but I still wanted to share...

After spending the past two or so weeks, which included days like Christmas Eve, basically living in this office eating only Çubuk Kraker (that's a really gross Turkish light cracker, which has no taste but little less calories than all the other very rich sweets around here), drinking Diet Pepsi and showering only occassionaly cause I had no time to go home at all, I am completly exhausted. I feel like I have absorbed all the knowledge that Turkish universities teach in the undergraduate education in the past few days. I became a liberal, occassionally even realist, feminist, almost vegetarian and finally constructivist... Although I am not sure if we ourselves really contruct the reality, others do, unneccessarily too harsh reality, but I still haven't found out how to escape the one that has been constructed for me, although figuring that out is a never-ending quest of a constructivist... Anyway after I go home and get some sleep I will be amazingly happy cause I actually made it through this, finished all that had to be finished, I am done with half of my classes and about to start a break during which I will make up for the missed Christmas, family time, privacy and the time with my dear Andy
So after all maybe the reality is OK, although perhaps I shouldn't live just in my own satisfied world and start changing things by, for example, becoming a vegetarian...

One more thing to almost becoming a vegetarian: I have been sent some articles to read for fun in between my studies by my friendly neighbor across the hallway who has shared the pain of the past few weeks with me (thank you for being there Ale!) and is quite environmentally aware, here is one: http://www.emagazine.com/view/?142
This article is very sad and serious and really makes one think but I had to laugh finding myself among the few percent who state that their reason for being vegetarian is economic...

Be thankful!

2005-12-20T09:48:00.000-08:00

I have been extremly busy in the past few weeks, living in the office drinking soda and eating gross fat free crackers from the machine, getting quite desparate...a friend of mine sent me this piece of wisdom to cheer me up, to give me support and thoughts as he said (or maybe to make me stop complaining:)
For whatever reason it was sent, it is true, but, engrossed in my frustrations, failures and fears, I so often forget...

Be Thankful
By Unknown

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

Istanbul en guzel sehir

2005-12-19T22:34:00.000-08:00

Istanbul en guzel bir sehir, originally uploaded by ivuskawalterova.

I miss seeing Istanbul every morning after I wake up... I especially loved the morning bus rides from Besiktas to Taksim to work or driving across the bridge in the evening right before sunset or watching the mosques across the Golden Horn during the evening call for prayer, when the voices of the muezzins filled the warm evening air...

2005-12-19T22:29:00.000-08:00

istanbul2, originally uploaded by ivuskawalterova.

2005-12-19T22:21:00.000-08:00

istanbul, originally uploaded by ivuskawalterova.

Neuveritelna Lehkost Byti - Kundera

2005-10-25T13:25:00.000-07:00

If every second of our life recurs and infinite number of times, we are nailed to eternity...terryfying prospect...unbearable responsibility lies heavy on every move we make...eternal return "das schwerste Gewicht"...If eternal return is the heaviest of burdens, then our lives can stand out against it in all their splendid lightness...But is lightness truly splendid?
The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life's most intense fulfiullment...Conversely, the absolute absence of burden causes man to be lighter than air...become only half real, his movements are as free as they are insignificant.
What shall we choose?

Weight or lightness?

Bday weekend

2005-10-24T15:23:00.000-07:00

Nikki,Aakash&I visiting Ataturk
Originally uploaded by ivuskawalterova.

Two days ago was my bday, and since I am too busy to leave this place, all the three ppl that I love the most in Istanbul came to visit (jak se rika, kdyz nemuze Mohammed k hore, musi hora k Mohammedovi - just really wanted to write that saying being in Turkey and all). Nikki, Sefer and Aakash came for two days and some of my friends here took care of a party for me and I had the best bday in some years. We did lots of talking (beside the party stuff), the weather was great and my fall blues went for some time. I love these people with their constructive ideas and ways of looking at things differently. Anyway this is Nikki, Aakash and I in front of Ataturk mausoleum on Sunday, it's the only pic I have so far but hopefully will be able to put up more soon.

Nikki has written a way more detailed post about the weekend but I thought that adding some pictures to it, since I finally have them and also have time to put them up, would be nice...
The view to one side and to the other side of the table

The Hostess (Deniz), Ale and I

Nikki, Aakash and I

2005-10-18T12:13:00.000-07:00

could be my the view from my window
Originally uploaded by ivuskawalterova.

could be my the view from my window - Bileknt dorms

2005-10-18T12:09:00.000-07:00

the dorms
Originally uploaded by ivuskawalterova.

the view into our windows
Bilekent dorms

How it feels to understand only a half of the world around

2005-10-18T10:34:00.000-07:00

I have been living in this country for little more than a year now. Previous to my arrival I had some Turkish language prep, although when I look back now it was rather poor. Throughout my first year here I mostly lived in English in a pretty international environment and I continue to do so here in Ankara although most people prefer not to speak to me cause their English just isn't good enough (or at least I hope that's the reason).
In the beginning the lack of knowledge of Turkish hasn't really bothered me since I could get around and besides I learned quite a lot in a relatively short time. So I was mostly better in Turkish than other foreigners around me although not good enough to interact with the environment around me beyond basic things.
After a few months I started feeling handicapped. I couldn't just read the headlines in newspapers as I was walking on the street, I couldn't just overhear news or conversations. I started feeling as if most of the life around me is hidden from me because I cannot understand it. Even then however I lived in my bubble with quite a few other people (Istanbul603!!) so things weren't really all that uncomfortable.
As I arrived in Ankara though things got worse. I thought that here I would be able to take intense Turkish classes and rapidly improve. This however isn't the case as foreigners usually have no Turkish knowledge, so I am the best in my class but still cannot effectivelly communicate on more complex subjects. As there is (for Turkey) a relatively high foreign student population in Bilkent, everyone knows some English, so I am not as often forced into using the little I know. Most importantly as a masters student I just simply don't have the time. As much as I know how important it is to learn the language, it's also as important to get my school work done. So I continue being left out...
It's so constraining not to understand people, news, TV, radio, random words, not even being able to go to the movies to see an interesting European film. I can speak to people and understand them but can I ever actually grasp the local culture if I cannot communicate anything of importance to a regural Turkish person?

Fall feelings in Ankara

2005-10-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

I am definitelly starting to feel that I have moved to a cold place (OK maybe noone can really believe me but after experiencing many different places, assuming I dont like cold places, I think that Ankara is cold) The leaves have started to turn colous and fall, they turned the heating on two weeks ago. The uni is in full swing and I'm fully under stress.
Since I have left home 7 and some years ago and went to live about as far as I could have, I have been thinking about what's important in life. Is it being with people one loves and doing sth one enjoys at the moment or is it working hard for the best future possible. For me this question was this black and white most of the time because I felt I could live in the present at home and for the future abroad. This is not a place to try to explain why I feel this way but there has always been this distinction in my mind (although my life in the US has been happy and with people I cared about).
So eventually I found myself in Istanbul, I loved my life there and I knew that precisely because of working for the best future possible all my life I was able to be there. And so working for the future has finally brought results. I have no idea where would I have been if I would have gone home after that one exchange year in the US but I believe that I was better off in Istanbul. Therefore I decided to continue to work for the future. I came to Ankara to spend here 2 years after which I should ideally be an expert in the language, culture and area.
The more time I spend here however, the less I believe in the wiseness of this choice. This definitely has two reasons and possibly three. First one is that I re-found how wonderful it is to be with someone I love and the only thing my heart wants is to pack everything and take the first plane to Germany. Second, I am quite disappointed with my studies. Taking beginning Turkish and not being able to take basically any class that would satisfy my interest in Turkey or the Middle East is not what I expected of this place. Although I know that I am brodening my horizons and learning many interesting things, I am not satisfied. Third, and I am actually not too sure how valid this reason is, is that I feel that at some point one's priorities in life start changing. Before I had a need to move to a new place and discover new things if I was somewhere for as much as a year; before I was dreading the fact that one day I will settle down and will never leave. Now I miss having a regural home, I hate living in dorm rooms, I hate having to pack and move all the time. In some way I just wish I had a regural life in a place I know with people I know, with my own living room and a bathtop... I am not sure if this change came with age or with the current situation but I definitely feel it...

I am not complaining or packing, I just wanted to write about my own blues during the Ankara fall...

Move to Ankara

2005-09-14T08:35:00.000-07:00

I wrote this post about a week and a half ago, so its not really up to date. I think I should stop dwelling over it and just publish it...

Yes I, a person so happy in Istanbul, am leaving, not sure exactly when yet but the count down is in days now...

Everyone who leaves seems to be writing what they will take/have taken with them from this experience. So let me try to do the same... Although I realize that I haven't been spending all the time I could in and with 603, I think I still realize the value we all had to each other and this experience to each of us and I especially realize that such a thing doesn't happen too often or rather often enough. I became especially aware of this when there was a farewell for a few people leaving in the summer. The guy in charge of organization (Saad) did a really good job to make it a memorable farewell (not just partying and getting drunk but a nice dinner and a slide show on the roof before the partying and getting drunk started). However, I felt like there was something missing. There were too many faces, some of which I couldn't even connect to a name and although I believe that most of these trainees had a great experience and met amazing people, they didn't seem like they were a group all together, they didn't seem to be carrying away a piece of life that they will all always share. Although they all said that they had a great time here and they will never forget, it definitely didn't feel the same as when one of the 'winter' trainees was leaving. (Anyway I might have gotten it all wrong and maybe I just simply concentrated too much on my own Istanbul life at the time). My point is that, to me, what the winter/spring 2005 trainees shared was really special and happens only rarely and I am happy I was able to be at least to some extent a part of it...

And what will I do next? First I will go for a vacation. Not planning to travel too far just will enjoy at least a bit more of the summer in Antalya/Olympos region. Then, in mid-Sept. I will move into another Turkish dorm, this time in Bilkent University, Ankara, and start a masters program.
Yeah, I know, I am writitng this long entry about leaving Istanbul while I'll be living only a few hours away, which doesn't really sound like a big deal. I do feel like I am leaving thou or rather I feel like the spirit of 603 is once and for all leaving Istanbul as the last few people go...

To make my post up to date, I am in Ankara since yesterday (living under rules even worse then in Bilgi that we didnt even have to keep) and not going for a vacation because Turkish institutions are completly disorganized... Although things haven't started the best way, I am still really excited to begin my classes on Monday and do something new and different

Missing Istanbul, everyone there and my lost freedom

The Queen of Cities, my current home

2005-03-24T09:17:00.000-08:00

"The Persian name was Dersaadet—Door to the Ultimate Happiness. The Greeks called it Teofilaktos—City Guarded by God; the Romans, Nuova Roma—New Rome; the Arabs, Farrouk—City Separating Two Continents; and the Ottoman Turks, Ummti-diinya—Mother of the World. Now, and since 1923 when the Turkish Republic formally renamed it, it is called Istanbul, meaning just The City—as though there were none other to compare.
Knowledgeable travelers today acclaim Istanbul as one of the three most beautiful cities on earth, ranking it with Hong Kong and Rio de Janeiro, whose hilly silhouettes are also reflected in surrounding waters. Neither, however, is as exotic or romantic as Istanbul with its singular skyline of almost 500 domed mosques flanked by tapering minarets, and its sun-drenched shores embanked with white marble palaces, medieval fortresses, fine mansions, weathered wooden houses, colorful cafes and tea gardens built among or on the old sea walls.
Protruding into the water, hills of İstanbul form a common harbor where dozens of doughty ferryboats bustle back and forth from Europe to Asia, dodging passenger and merchant steamships of all flags, carefully skirting the bellowing oceangoing tankers and freighters. North from the harbor of Greater Istanbul, a ribbon of picturesque suburbs and fishing towns on the parallel shorelines, extends the city 17 miles up the Bosporus to the Black Sea.
This sparkling channel called the Bosporus is the city's lifeline: as a year-round highway carrying people and commerce on its surface and an amazing variety of fish—some 400 types—in its depths. It is also its May to November swimming pool by day, waterfront dining room and dance hall by moonlight.
Like any city astride an international crossroads, Istanbul has become a city of the most striking contrasts. It is a melange of oriental mentality and gracious hospitality, occidental appetites and ambitions, northern pace and energy, southern lassitude and contentment. It is a veritable Tower of Babel where some 30 languages are spoken daily and in architecture, transport, dress and customs it shows its origins, its history and 'its brilliantly cosmopolitan character. Here, a Roman aqueduct loops across a boulevard in front of a modern city hall; there, a sagging house propped up on Greek columns leans into a stark, rectangular office building. Here, a towering new hotel overlooks the Bosporus; there a vacated villa, plastered with Nile mud to comfort a homesick Egyptian princess, shares the view. On the avenues, outsized Cadillac and Mercedes cars edge past peasants' horse carts. Before posh apartments on the steep cobbled "Street of the Chicken Which Cannot Fly" or "Come On In, Don't Wait Street," the dancing bears of the gypsies perform. In the bazaars women from country villages cocooned in black robes from hair to hemline pull aside their veils to eye their mini-skirted, mink-coated sisters from other climes and times. Turbaned watersellers offer su to ragged laborers at a penny a glass in front of chrome-plated snack bars aswarm with hairy young Edwardians and itchy hippies. Nightclub clients drink "coexistent" Votka and Coke as hostesses alternate the Jerk and the Shake with languid belly dances.
İstanbul will remain the queen of cities, the place where the sun bursts out of Asia to lighten Europe's morning windows and exits dramatically behind the haze of the Golden Horn; where great ships steam across the waters in between, writing their smoky calligraphy upon the skies; and where the heavens, punctuated by a parade of minarets, echo to the muezzins' five-times-a-day call to prayer in the poignant wail that captures the magic of the East.

Frantisek Gellner

2005-02-10T03:48:00.000-08:00

Ma mila, rozmila, neplakej.
Zivot uz neni jinakej.

Dneska jsme jeste veseli
na nasi bile poslteli,
zitra, co zitra, kdozpak vi?
Zitra si lehnem do rakvi..

clovek obcas potrebuje melancholii... a Gellner takove rozpolozeni dokaze doplnit snad nejlepe

The Real Life

2005-02-07T03:01:00.000-08:00

Last night İ watched some silly teeny movie, in which the main character kept on saying that after college the real life begins. Not that İ like this type of movies or God forbid believe them, İ am mentioning it solely because İ have always held this belief as well: after İ finish college, my 'real life' will begin... İ was so scared, worried, even horrified. What would İ do? How would İ manage? What is the right thing to do? Everyone around me was getting jobs with investment banks and simmilar establishments in New York (or Boston - even though that didn't sound as cool), everyone seemed to know where they were going and what they were doing. And they were all doing the 'right' thing. İ, on the other hand, had not much interest in becoming rich and working endless hours for something İ didn't believe in. İ mean seriously how can a tiny improvement in the profits of some huge company become the purpose of your life...but the pressure to do the 'right' thing... And what was İ going to do if not this???

And this is how İ came to Turkey. İ was always in love with this region, the culture, the language, the people (even though that love has diminished somewhat - generally speaking). İ was fascinated by the restlessness, differences, way of life here. Every time İ was able to study any of these things or read about them, İ would always get this feeling of warm excitement in my belly. And shouldn't İ spend my time somewhere and on something that gives me that feeling? İsn't that feeling more important than doing the 'right' thing, the generally expected thing? İ came to believe that it is. Therefore, İ was able, for the first time, to not do what is expected of me, to not do the 'right' thing. İ left the country where İ spent my short adult life and came to live in Turkey.

İ am still not sure where will my jurney lead me or where exactly do İ want it to lead me. The important thing is that İ am doing what İ want to do and İ am not so scared of the 'real' life anymore because it is as much fun as college was. İt is as full of learning and new experiences as college was. And İ am sure that when the time is right İ will end up where İ should and will be able to turn around with satisfaction.